Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
