There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
