just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
