So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
