I can feel you judging me through the phone.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
