things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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