So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
