I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
