my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
