Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My breasts were aching with rage.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
