escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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