It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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