Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
