I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
