I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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