In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
