What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
wow bdsm is so cute
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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