just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
