Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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