Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
