A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Farmville is her only friend.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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