Well apparently he's into motor boating.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
