i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works