And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
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Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
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Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.