Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

This dress was meant to end up on your floor

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(319): View more from Iowa

Heyyyy darlin are you busy?

(1-319): View more from Iowa

Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper

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(714): View more from California

Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(270): View more from Kentucky

no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake

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(906): View more from Michigan

As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back

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(816): View more from Missouri

If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU

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(971): View more from Oregon

I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.

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