Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone

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(732): Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone http://tfl.nu/vmc1

Replies (8) Good night (1995) Bad night (1386)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....

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(317): I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up.... http://tfl.nu/s81o

Replies (66) Good night (13307) Bad night (847)
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(912): View more from Georgia

It's not kidnapping if it's romantic

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(912): It's not kidnapping if it's romantic http://tfl.nu/j4mo

Replies (17) Good night (6526) Bad night (1834)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat

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(402): I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat http://tfl.nu/ufc8

Replies (24) Good night (2441) Bad night (3394)
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(517): View more from Michigan

The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came

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(517): The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came http://tfl.nu/4ft9

Replies (16) Good night (7209) Bad night (1077)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.

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(580): You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose. http://tfl.nu/41p8

Replies (37) Good night (9325) Bad night (1491)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best

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(847): I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best http://tfl.nu/7i53

Replies (7) Good night (2128) Bad night (1333)
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(509): View more from Washington

Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom

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(509): Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom http://tfl.nu/fom9

Replies (18) Good night (3406) Bad night (975)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.

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(423): I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years. http://tfl.nu/oqic

Replies (5) Good night (2981) Bad night (576)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.

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(608): I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge. http://tfl.nu/n8yp

Replies (2) Good night (486) Bad night (1136)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg

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(519): Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg http://tfl.nu/646r

Replies (6) Good night (810) Bad night (435)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.

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(570): Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep. http://tfl.nu/bc4p

Replies (1) Good night (894) Bad night (318)
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(425): View more from Washington

Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra

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(425): Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra http://tfl.nu/b4si

Replies (2) Good night (444) Bad night (285)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.

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(901): This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis. http://tfl.nu/kmqs

Replies (1) Good night (431) Bad night (218)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.

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(701): If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted. http://tfl.nu/5qtj

Replies (0) Good night (394) Bad night (230)

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