Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
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He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
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He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??