i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
