Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Even my vagina gasped.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
