Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
