We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
