It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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