im drinking this country out of the recession.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
