fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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