why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
