just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
