I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
