Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
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