and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
