u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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