lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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