You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
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The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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