Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
