she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
