ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
