Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
