things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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