She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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