He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
