Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
