I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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