Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
