he wants to bone in the snuggie
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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