my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
my shit smells like andre
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
this will be a night to untag.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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