omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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