Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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