So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
