"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
it was like his penis was on wheels.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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