You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
