Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
