that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
