I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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