How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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