I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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