My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Randomize
