god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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