FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
