Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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