If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
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I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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