can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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