I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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