Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
