this will be a night to untag.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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