I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
