Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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