I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
