yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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